The Amount of Red Tape in Schools is Getting Stupid

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1 April 2016

Hey readers would be familiar with Anthony Ruelas, a 15-year-old student in Texas, who broke his school’s code for dealing with asthma attacks by helping an asthmatic student to the school nurse. The school’s code says the teacher was to send an email to the nurse. Now, if you’re thinking sending an email to a nurse rather than helping the student is strange, wait until you see the whole code:


Prepared for the public schools of Texas, USA

  1. The teacher present to send an email to the school nurse notifying the nurse of the attack.
  2. The school nurse to send a message via Morse Code to the school principal seeking permission to help.
  3. The principal to send carrier pigeons to all members of the parents’ association bearing messages of warning about the attack and requesting clearance to deal with the matter.
  4. The members of the parents’ association to each independently light a smoke signal when they have reached their decision. A green flame from a majority allows the principal to proceed to the next stage.
  5. The principal must design an interpretive dance about the attack and submit it before the Governor of Texas, who will score it out of 10. If the score is higher than 7, the Governor can take the matter to the President.
  6. Underneath the White House, the Governor and the President enter a secret room kept by the remaining members of the Templar Knights. In the room lie 200 chalices, and only the choosing the correct one will allow the Governor and the President to proceed to step 7. Choosing the wrong chalice will mean the Governor must design a new dance on the spot.
  7. If the correct chalice is chosen, the nurse can help the student.
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James Bolt

James Bolt is a Research Fellow at the Institute of Public Affairs

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